EFT Helps You Commit Yourself to Your Life

EFT After An Accident Leads to Huge New Insights

Early last October, I broke my femur and a bone in my hand. I had just bought my daughter a bike from someone in the neighborhood and ridden it home. In the driveway, starting to dismount, my foot got caught in the toe clip and I just fell over and landed on my hip—and I guess my hand automatically went out to try to stop the fall. Wow, that hurt—especially in my leg! Fortunately, my husband had followed me home in his car, and when he saw me fall, he jumped out, and our neighbor across the street ran over. I felt awful—nauseated and woozy and I passed out for a few seconds. Fortunately, the ambulance came quickly and I was in surgery that day where a doctor put in three pins.

The interesting thing (to me anyway) is that, for several weeks after the accident, I felt that I couldn’t quite get back into the physical. Whenever I thought about the event, there was an echo of that awful nauseated, lightheaded, spinny feeling . When I worked on it with EFT, I saw myself floating way, way up in space. The earth was far, far down and I was attached to the earth by a very long umbilical cord. In a way, it felt good to float up there—no responsibilities, no worries, nothing heavy, just floating peacefully. I felt spacey and not hooked into my life. That feeling was seductive. Something about it felt wrong, though. But I couldn’t figure out how to get back down to the earth, back down to being in my physical self and in my life.

A Solution Appears

Suddenly it occurred to me that I could pull myself down by the umbilical cord, and I did that. When I was down on the earth, I was once again grabbed by gravity, and the umbilical cord whooshed into the earth like one of those dog leashes that keep your dog next to you. Once down here again, and really feeling that I was solidly on the earth, I got the message that it was up to me to consciously commit myself to my life—or not. I decided I really do want to be here, to be closely connected to my husband, children, grandchildren, friends, clients, the walks I take, the articles I write, the books I read, the trees, flowers, snow, my car, my house—everything! It was—and still is—an exciting feeling, to really commit to being here and appreciating and enjoying it all. I also suddenly “got” how to trust life in a way I had never trusted before.

EFT Helps Heal the After-Effects of Surgery

This kind of thing happens to many people, the sudden inability to commit yourself to your life. For example, after one of my past clients was back in her room after surgery, she suddenly couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t even gasp and she definitely couldn’t call out. Fortunately, her friend was in the room and saw what was happening and called a nurse. My client felt trapped in her body and then she felt that it was too much to stay here. She felt herself fading out. For a long time after that, she couldn’t stay attached to her life anymore. It was too hard to deal with all the painful events happening in her life. She felt she was just done with being on the earth and that she’d rather be with God. When we talked some more, she remembered that God is always there every day in her life and she was the one who had lost her awareness of the connection. We used EFT to work through the trauma of the surgery and other related events, and she had a big breakthrough, reconnecting with her joy in being alive on the earth.

Somewhere inside and outside, we all have a connection with something that loves us unconditionally and knows everything about us. It’s always there, but we can lose our conscious access to it. You can lose the access to commit yourself to your life. The good thing is that the knowledge of how to reconnect is in each of us, just waiting for us to notice. For this woman, the beginning was to remember that, in the past, she had felt the connection when she was reading the holy book of her religion. Thinking about reading it again was already helping her to feel the connection to some extent.

The Death of a Loved One Can Make it Hard to Commit Yourself to Your Life

A long time ago, one of my teachers talked about his experience after his father died. He felt drawn to go with his father. All the people he knew and all the things he was doing in his life had lost their meaning and he had lost his sense of connection with any of it. He was drifting, not really here, partly already gone to be with his father. He, too, had to find a way to re-commit to being here on the planet, in his daily life.

It seems that this experience of losing connection with our life energy, losing a sense of the meaning of things is a frequent experience for people that have come close to death or have lost someone very close to them. This also can happen when we experience trauma, loss, or one difficulty after another—a time when we don’t feel we can make it through. We begin to drift away from life.

An Exercise

One way to find the meaning again is to notice the feeling you’re having—disconnection, not caring, drifting, fading out, whatever it is. Just notice it with one of the following questions in your mind:

  • When did I lose my sense of meaning or commitment to life? What happened just before that?
  • How was I aware of connection to my life at that point, before I lost connection? (Was it love of something or someone, passion in your work or something you were doing, a sense of wonder about being in the world? What was it?) What helped me feel truly connected?
  • Think about that experience, that feeling of love of life, of commitment to what you were doing or being. Think about the feeling in great detail. You’ll notice that, as you’re thinking about it, you’re getting a bit (or a lot) of that feeling right now. Stay with that feeling and let it grow.
  • Ask yourself what you can do to nurture it and then notice what comes to you immediately after that. Even if it seems crazy or strange or stupid—THAT is the answer.

Using EFT Tapping along with the above exercise really helps unknown resolutions to appear. Sometimes it’s hard to do this yourself. If you’d like some help, you can contact me for a session. Check out my webpage on alleviating the effects of Stress and Trauma .

 

Here’s an EFT Exercise for Accepting Yourself

Do you ever look around amazed that the world actually exists? Doesn’t it seem miraculous: cars, blossoming trees, houses, rivers, insects and birds—us? Wow! How wonder-ful and rare this all is in the universe (if not downright unique)! Which makes me realize how precious each living thing is—does that happen to you, too? That means that each person is precious, which means all of us. Which means you, too! Each of us with our specific self, our specific personality, talents, “weaknesses,” quirks—it’s like each of you is a gift to the world put here specifically to be who you are. Right?

It would make sense, then, that we’d want to make the most out of our time here. To be happy as often as we can. To love all this awesome stuff that we’re surrounded by. But we often get down and feel all alone; we’re often scared, sad and worried or depressed. Then we feel helpless and powerless. Our thinking becomes global versus specific: everything has always been awful and always will be awful.

A Metaphorical EFT Exercise to Transform Unhappiness into Acceptance
Notice exactly what you’re experiencing—let’s say someone disapproved of something you did. You’re thinking “everyone hates me.” Let’s drill down into that a bit: what is the experience you’re having inside yourself when you think that? Do you feel all alone in the world? What is that feeling made up of? What color is it, for instance? Is it black or gray or white, or…? Where do you see yourself: in a desert? In the middle of the ocean? In a white fog? Or where? Maybe you can be there in that place, accepting it as a place to be, for right now. Not spinning out with thoughts that you’re going to be there forever, just accepting this place right now.

I learned a version of the next part of this exercise from my colleague,Rue Hass. I’ve found it to be very helpful. So–Look around you in your imagination. What else is there beside you, above you, below you? Maybe you can draw yourself in this environment, or just imagine it really vividly. Then say to yourself that you accept yourself in this environment. That this is the way it seems and that you’re open to seeing it a different way. Then you can notice if anything has changed in your imagination scene. Often it does change. You can also notice what you might do with your own body and muscles to change your place in the scene so that it will feel better to you.

If you feel like it, you can drill down like this with any experience you’re having—sadness, for instance. If you feel like it, notice the feeling, the color, texture, the scene you’re in, what’s around you and accept being there just for right now. Then go further into the exercise.

I’ve often used this with clients while doing EFT Tapping with them. As we tap on whatever they’re seeing, the scene keeps changing and getting better and often, at the end, the person comes up with a solution that’s is at the same time obvious and is something they never would have thought of before! If you’d like to try it, contact me at zoeric@comcast.net or call 303-444-1195.

First Responders & Health Care Personnel: Recognizing PTSD in the Public

With each trauma that our country has experienced over the last number of years, the structure of our society has developed cracks and those cracks are being infused by a poisonous fog of fear, insecurity and suspicion. A sizeable portion of the population is most likely suffering from some level of current traumatic stress, or posttraumatic stress (PTSD).The question now is, do we work toward healing or allow the structure to crumble? There are many levels on which to work toward healing, from individuals working on themselves, relationship counseling and family therapy, designing buildings, cars, furniture, etc., to create a sense of peace and calm, all the way up to society-wide or large government intervention. I’ve written about some in the past—see my blog posts and articles in Examiner.com and eZinearticles.com. (put in links).

One important area of influence has to do with first responders—police, fire services, ambulance EMT’s—and healthcare personnel at doctor’s offices and ER’s. How these people interact with others who are suffering from stress, trauma or PTSD is crucial to move our country in a healthy direction.

Given the increasing numbers of shootings mentioned in the media, there is an increase in the perception of danger floating around in the atmosphere, both on the part of first responders and health care personnel and in the general public. People are becoming increasingly mistrustful and fearful of each other. Police officers, for example, are suspicious of the public they come into contact with, and people are fearful of police officers. It’s important to realize that this intensifying of suspicion and fear are at least partially signs of traumatic stress and PTSD and the country as a whole.

 Recognizing Traumatic Stress and PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress)

For police officers, fire fighters, EMT’s and healthcare personnel, it’s not always easy to recognize that someone is suffering from traumatic stress or PTSD. The person they’re dealing with could just seem to be causing trouble or being difficult. A lot of trouble and re-traumatizing of people can be avoided by recognizing symptoms and acting in ways that help vs. escalate.

 

Here are some signs that a person may be suffering from traumatic stress or posttraumatic stress (PTSD:

  1. Someone in a car running through an intersection with a stop sign or red light, or turning left when another is approaching too closely. Someone suddenly switching lanes in front of another car without seeming to notice the other car.
  2. When the person is stopped, a kind of dazed expression or quickly escalating to yelling or crying when confronted.
  3. The person not seeming to understand what the officer or EMT is saying. Asking questions that have already been answered.
  4. The person acting in a childlike or overly dependent manner.
  5. The person becoming easily angered or agitated.
  6. In a doctor’s office or the ER, someone continually going up to the counter to ask or demand to be seen quickly.
  7. In the ER, the patient not seeming to understand instructions being given.

How First Responders and Healthcare Personnel Can Help—vs. Escalate the Problem

  1. Be polite and respectful.
  2. Begin by and continue to speak slowly and quietly.
  3. Put yourself into the mindset that this is a person who may have been going through a difficult time; imagine if it were you—put yourself in their place and speak from that insight.
  4. Ask if the person is all right. Ask what happened to cause them to do what they did. Use a caring, authentically empathetic tone of voice.
  5. Avoid a tone of accusation, confrontation or sarcasm at all costs. Don’t be curt.
  6. If you need to give information or direction, give one piece of information at a time and ask the person if they understood. If not, ask them what they didn’t understand. Repeat the information incorporating the information you received about what was not understood. Don’t just repeat what you said in the same words as before.
  7. For ER personnel, if you give instructions to the patient, give them the instructions in written form as well. Ask them what they understood you to say. That way you can see if they understood you.

For more information on PTSD and traumatic stress and how to get help, see my page on Stress and Trauma. For first responder or healthcare organizations who would like training and information on how to heal from their own PTSD and traumatic stress or to be helpful to the public they come in contact with, see my page on Organizational Consulting.