EFT Helps You Commit Yourself to Your Life

EFT After An Accident Leads to Huge New Insights

Early last October, I broke my femur and a bone in my hand. I had just bought my daughter a bike from someone in the neighborhood and ridden it home. In the driveway, starting to dismount, my foot got caught in the toe clip and I just fell over and landed on my hip—and I guess my hand automatically went out to try to stop the fall. Wow, that hurt—especially in my leg! Fortunately, my husband had followed me home in his car, and when he saw me fall, he jumped out, and our neighbor across the street ran over. I felt awful—nauseated and woozy and I passed out for a few seconds. Fortunately, the ambulance came quickly and I was in surgery that day where a doctor put in three pins.

The interesting thing (to me anyway) is that, for several weeks after the accident, I felt that I couldn’t quite get back into the physical. Whenever I thought about the event, there was an echo of that awful nauseated, lightheaded, spinny feeling . When I worked on it with EFT, I saw myself floating way, way up in space. The earth was far, far down and I was attached to the earth by a very long umbilical cord. In a way, it felt good to float up there—no responsibilities, no worries, nothing heavy, just floating peacefully. I felt spacey and not hooked into my life. That feeling was seductive. Something about it felt wrong, though. But I couldn’t figure out how to get back down to the earth, back down to being in my physical self and in my life.

A Solution Appears

Suddenly it occurred to me that I could pull myself down by the umbilical cord, and I did that. When I was down on the earth, I was once again grabbed by gravity, and the umbilical cord whooshed into the earth like one of those dog leashes that keep your dog next to you. Once down here again, and really feeling that I was solidly on the earth, I got the message that it was up to me to consciously commit myself to my life—or not. I decided I really do want to be here, to be closely connected to my husband, children, grandchildren, friends, clients, the walks I take, the articles I write, the books I read, the trees, flowers, snow, my car, my house—everything! It was—and still is—an exciting feeling, to really commit to being here and appreciating and enjoying it all. I also suddenly “got” how to trust life in a way I had never trusted before.

EFT Helps Heal the After-Effects of Surgery

This kind of thing happens to many people, the sudden inability to commit yourself to your life. For example, after one of my past clients was back in her room after surgery, she suddenly couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t even gasp and she definitely couldn’t call out. Fortunately, her friend was in the room and saw what was happening and called a nurse. My client felt trapped in her body and then she felt that it was too much to stay here. She felt herself fading out. For a long time after that, she couldn’t stay attached to her life anymore. It was too hard to deal with all the painful events happening in her life. She felt she was just done with being on the earth and that she’d rather be with God. When we talked some more, she remembered that God is always there every day in her life and she was the one who had lost her awareness of the connection. We used EFT to work through the trauma of the surgery and other related events, and she had a big breakthrough, reconnecting with her joy in being alive on the earth.

Somewhere inside and outside, we all have a connection with something that loves us unconditionally and knows everything about us. It’s always there, but we can lose our conscious access to it. You can lose the access to commit yourself to your life. The good thing is that the knowledge of how to reconnect is in each of us, just waiting for us to notice. For this woman, the beginning was to remember that, in the past, she had felt the connection when she was reading the holy book of her religion. Thinking about reading it again was already helping her to feel the connection to some extent.

The Death of a Loved One Can Make it Hard to Commit Yourself to Your Life

A long time ago, one of my teachers talked about his experience after his father died. He felt drawn to go with his father. All the people he knew and all the things he was doing in his life had lost their meaning and he had lost his sense of connection with any of it. He was drifting, not really here, partly already gone to be with his father. He, too, had to find a way to re-commit to being here on the planet, in his daily life.

It seems that this experience of losing connection with our life energy, losing a sense of the meaning of things is a frequent experience for people that have come close to death or have lost someone very close to them. This also can happen when we experience trauma, loss, or one difficulty after another—a time when we don’t feel we can make it through. We begin to drift away from life.

An Exercise

One way to find the meaning again is to notice the feeling you’re having—disconnection, not caring, drifting, fading out, whatever it is. Just notice it with one of the following questions in your mind:

  • When did I lose my sense of meaning or commitment to life? What happened just before that?
  • How was I aware of connection to my life at that point, before I lost connection? (Was it love of something or someone, passion in your work or something you were doing, a sense of wonder about being in the world? What was it?) What helped me feel truly connected?
  • Think about that experience, that feeling of love of life, of commitment to what you were doing or being. Think about the feeling in great detail. You’ll notice that, as you’re thinking about it, you’re getting a bit (or a lot) of that feeling right now. Stay with that feeling and let it grow.
  • Ask yourself what you can do to nurture it and then notice what comes to you immediately after that. Even if it seems crazy or strange or stupid—THAT is the answer.

Using EFT Tapping along with the above exercise really helps unknown resolutions to appear. Sometimes it’s hard to do this yourself. If you’d like some help, you can contact me for a session. Check out my webpage on alleviating the effects of Stress and Trauma .

 

Deep Self-Acceptance with EFT

In Process Work (created by Arnold Mindell, Ph.D.), there’s a great concept called “Deep Democracy.” I love this idea! As we all know, democracy means allowing all voices to be heard. Looked at globally, Deep Democracy means we become aware of and welcome the views of all nations, even those that have little power.

Nationally, it means that we become aware of and embrace the views of all our groups of people, even those who are in the minority. In our families and businesses, we listen to those who are lowest in rank (the “little guys” and—in families—the children) and seriously take their wants, needs and opinions into account when making decisions that affect them.

And inside of us, it means that we become aware of and truly embrace all parts of ourselves—even those parts that we’ve been ashamed of or have been told aren’t right or good—and we’ve believed that.

Benefits of Deep Democracy

The benefit of living in a Deep Democracy way is that the little countries, minorities, and less powerful in families thrive too. The other benefit is that, with the “lesser” countries and people thriving, the more powerful thrive even more, and in more ways. And inside ourselves, when we become aware of and welcome in parts that we’ve rejected, we become freer and happier. Think about it!

EFT’s Effectiveness is “Deep Acceptance.”

In EFT terms, we “deeply and completely accept” a part of us we’ve seen as troublesome, disturbing or “bad.” I believe that’s what makes EFT so amazingly effective. For example, usually when we have a physical pain, we want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. But if the pain is not only a pain but also there for something (see my blog post, Getting to the Root of Physical Pain with EFT), just trying to get rid of it could make the “something” pop up in another form. Often, incorporating the message behind it into our lives gives space for the pain to go.

Emotional Pain Builds Up in Your Nervous System

Emotional pain is similar. If you’ve had painful, scary or traumatic experiences in your life and you try to push them into the background, they don’t go away; they’re just buried and affect your work, your relationships, and your ability to deal with new difficulties with creativity and flexibility. The effects of these experiences build up in your nervous system and affect your body and your emotional health.

EFT Healing

When in EFT we say “Even though I have this shoulder pain” or “even though I’m full of rage (sadness, fear, grief), I deeply and completely accept myself,” we’re practicing Deep Democracy inside of us. We’re putting our arms around the part of us that’s been hurt and loving ourselves with that part. Anyone who has the experience of someone listening to and taking their pain seriously feels better and is then ready for further healing. That’s true inside of us, too.

 

 

Contact Zoe Zimmermann, MA, LPC, Certified EFT Practitioner

Office Address: 75 Manhattan Dr., Suite 206, Boulder, CO 80303

Ph: 303-444-1195 E: zoeric@comcast.net

 

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