What can I expect from the EFT process?
To get to core issues as quickly as possible, I ask you questions and carefully listen and watch, to not only the overt things you’re saying, but also what’s under the surface that you may not be aware of. This helps us to do deep work right away. After that, I guide you through tapping, using the thoughts, feelings and words that we come up with together. Often, I’ll offer phrases intuitively, suggesting that you change them if they don’t feel right to you. It’s always a partnership!
How many sessions will it take to resolve my issue?
The number of sessions it takes depends on what is involved in the issue we’re working on. If, for instance, you have a single painful incident to work on, it can often be resolved in one or two sessions. However, if there are other underlying issues attached to the incident, it will take longer. The main skill I bring is to get to core issues quickly, which helps us get results as quickly as possible.
Why does EFT work so fast?
In over 20 years as a psychotherapist, my goal has always been to help people in pain in the most effective ways possible. In my close to 3 years with EFT, I have found that, with most people, it works much more quickly and is often amazing in how deeply and completely it alleviates problems.
There are a number of therapies for both emotional and physical problems that are very effective. My guess as to why EFT is often even more successful and quick is this: we usually have the intention to heal from whatever is troubling us. But there’s also a part of us that may be afraid of healing or may need something to happen before it’s ready to give up our “problem” or just has some kind of a hesitation. EFT works with this hesitation as well as our conscious intention to heal by helping us completely accept ourselves, even with our problem. Because of this, our whole selves seem to be aligned and change can often occur more quickly than with other therapies.
My personal mission to get in there and do something that really works and EFT’s results are a perfect match! Also, EFT helps people become self-sufficient: many clients easily learn to do it themselves.
How frequently should I come for sessions?
The first answer to that is, as frequently as seems right for you. With that in mind—some people schedule sessions every day for a short time, others schedule several times a week, while others feel they need time in between sessions to integrate what has come up during a session.
I have had people who live out of town and are in my area for a week or two pack in a number of sessions in the time they’re here. Or, even over the phone or Skype, if they want to deal with something urgent, we do several sessions in one week.
Many people schedule sessions for once a week. Others, for whatever reason, schedule every other week, once a month, or whatever meets their needs. Often it’s useful to start with once a week and then taper off. Sometimes, of course, an issue is cleared up in only several sessions, or even in one session!
Couples/Relationship/Family Counseling FAQ’s
How do you work with couples/relationships?
The main thing for couples and other relationships is to help you share as much as what’s inside you as possible. That tends to clarify what’s happening in the relationship and often helps to clear up conflicts that keep cycling. One problem is that people often aren’t even aware of what’s going on inside them, or they’re afraid of it, so they push it out of awareness. I believe that, most of the time, the more information that’s out on the table, the better. There are a number of ways to do that:
- I listen to what each of you says and then go to one side or the other and try to get at what’s just below the surface of what you’re saying.
- I bring out the emotion that is in what you’re saying. Often that helps people understand each other better
- I help you essentially “switch places,” where you take each other’s sides temporarily by relating to times when you were in the same position
- I help you step outside yourselves and look at what’s happening in you, then step back in and complete what you’ve seen
- Sometimes, we do EFT where I help information emerge in one partner at a time
My partner seems to think I’m her/his parent or past partner. How do you work with that?
Sometimes one or the other person in the couple has “baggage” from past family (or other) traumas, and we need to do some individual work in addition to couples counseling.
We’ve been in therapy before where it seemed the therapist was taking sides. What do you do to avoid that?
This happens when the therapist is unconsciously picking up information from one or the other person and, again unconsciously, acting it out. For instance, if one person in the couple got criticized a lot in her/his childhood family, this person might often blame him/herself for things, but not admit it to others. The therapist, without realizing it, might pick up on this under-the-surface self-criticism, feel critical of that person, and then take the other person’s side against that person. When I feel any kind of an emotion or thought coming up in me, my first assumption is that it might not actually by “my” thought or emotion but that it might belong somewhere in the couple. I have various non-judgmental ways to bring the information into the room so that both people are represented to the fullest extent.
I look at the couple/relationship as a unit as well as two individual people. I help bring to the surface what’s trying to emerge in the couple/relationship through its people. This is a very accepting, non-judgmental way to help move things forward.
How do you work with families?
Families are complicated. I often meet with individuals first to explore how they see what’s going on in the family. Then I meet with various combinations of people in the family. Often, working with specific pairs and helping them clear up conflicts or issues can make the work easier for the rest of the family. For more details, see my Family Therapy webpage and my blog posts on childhood family patterns and other family counseling issues.
Organizational Consulting FAQ’s
How Would You Start Working with an Organization?
In organizations, it’s important for a consultant to start with the decisionmaker(s) in the organization. If the decisionmaker(s) are on board, then we can make progress. On the other hand, if they’re not, it’s almost impossible to make changes in the organization. It goes like this:
- I meet with the decisionmaker(s) to discover where they would like the organization to be and what they believe the obstacles are to getting there
- I interview various people, including individuals at the executive, management and employee level to find out where they would like the organization to be and what they see as the obstacles to getting there
- From this information, I meet with the executives/management to let them know what I have discovered
- Together we create a plan to change what needs changing. This can include anything from clarifying mission/vision, clarifying roles/responsibilities, facilitating conflicts, offering trainings, etc.
Contact: Zoe Zimmermann
Office Address: 75 Manhattan Dr., Suite 206, Boulder, CO 80303
Ph: 303-444-1195 E: firstname.lastname@example.org