EFT Helps You Commit Yourself to Your Life

EFT After An Accident Leads to Huge New Insights

Early last October, I broke my femur and a bone in my hand. I had just bought my daughter a bike from someone in the neighborhood and ridden it home. In the driveway, starting to dismount, my foot got caught in the toe clip and I just fell over and landed on my hip—and I guess my hand automatically went out to try to stop the fall. Wow, that hurt—especially in my leg! Fortunately, my husband had followed me home in his car, and when he saw me fall, he jumped out, and our neighbor across the street ran over. I felt awful—nauseated and woozy and I passed out for a few seconds. Fortunately, the ambulance came quickly and I was in surgery that day where a doctor put in three pins.

The interesting thing (to me anyway) is that, for several weeks after the accident, I felt that I couldn’t quite get back into the physical. Whenever I thought about the event, there was an echo of that awful nauseated, lightheaded, spinny feeling . When I worked on it with EFT, I saw myself floating way, way up in space. The earth was far, far down and I was attached to the earth by a very long umbilical cord. In a way, it felt good to float up there—no responsibilities, no worries, nothing heavy, just floating peacefully. I felt spacey and not hooked into my life. That feeling was seductive. Something about it felt wrong, though. But I couldn’t figure out how to get back down to the earth, back down to being in my physical self and in my life.

A Solution Appears

Suddenly it occurred to me that I could pull myself down by the umbilical cord, and I did that. When I was down on the earth, I was once again grabbed by gravity, and the umbilical cord whooshed into the earth like one of those dog leashes that keep your dog next to you. Once down here again, and really feeling that I was solidly on the earth, I got the message that it was up to me to consciously commit myself to my life—or not. I decided I really do want to be here, to be closely connected to my husband, children, grandchildren, friends, clients, the walks I take, the articles I write, the books I read, the trees, flowers, snow, my car, my house—everything! It was—and still is—an exciting feeling, to really commit to being here and appreciating and enjoying it all. I also suddenly “got” how to trust life in a way I had never trusted before.

EFT Helps Heal the After-Effects of Surgery

This kind of thing happens to many people, the sudden inability to commit yourself to your life. For example, after one of my past clients was back in her room after surgery, she suddenly couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t even gasp and she definitely couldn’t call out. Fortunately, her friend was in the room and saw what was happening and called a nurse. My client felt trapped in her body and then she felt that it was too much to stay here. She felt herself fading out. For a long time after that, she couldn’t stay attached to her life anymore. It was too hard to deal with all the painful events happening in her life. She felt she was just done with being on the earth and that she’d rather be with God. When we talked some more, she remembered that God is always there every day in her life and she was the one who had lost her awareness of the connection. We used EFT to work through the trauma of the surgery and other related events, and she had a big breakthrough, reconnecting with her joy in being alive on the earth.

Somewhere inside and outside, we all have a connection with something that loves us unconditionally and knows everything about us. It’s always there, but we can lose our conscious access to it. You can lose the access to commit yourself to your life. The good thing is that the knowledge of how to reconnect is in each of us, just waiting for us to notice. For this woman, the beginning was to remember that, in the past, she had felt the connection when she was reading the holy book of her religion. Thinking about reading it again was already helping her to feel the connection to some extent.

The Death of a Loved One Can Make it Hard to Commit Yourself to Your Life

A long time ago, one of my teachers talked about his experience after his father died. He felt drawn to go with his father. All the people he knew and all the things he was doing in his life had lost their meaning and he had lost his sense of connection with any of it. He was drifting, not really here, partly already gone to be with his father. He, too, had to find a way to re-commit to being here on the planet, in his daily life.

It seems that this experience of losing connection with our life energy, losing a sense of the meaning of things is a frequent experience for people that have come close to death or have lost someone very close to them. This also can happen when we experience trauma, loss, or one difficulty after another—a time when we don’t feel we can make it through. We begin to drift away from life.

An Exercise

One way to find the meaning again is to notice the feeling you’re having—disconnection, not caring, drifting, fading out, whatever it is. Just notice it with one of the following questions in your mind:

  • When did I lose my sense of meaning or commitment to life? What happened just before that?
  • How was I aware of connection to my life at that point, before I lost connection? (Was it love of something or someone, passion in your work or something you were doing, a sense of wonder about being in the world? What was it?) What helped me feel truly connected?
  • Think about that experience, that feeling of love of life, of commitment to what you were doing or being. Think about the feeling in great detail. You’ll notice that, as you’re thinking about it, you’re getting a bit (or a lot) of that feeling right now. Stay with that feeling and let it grow.
  • Ask yourself what you can do to nurture it and then notice what comes to you immediately after that. Even if it seems crazy or strange or stupid—THAT is the answer.

Using EFT Tapping along with the above exercise really helps unknown resolutions to appear. Sometimes it’s hard to do this yourself. If you’d like some help, you can contact me for a session. Check out my webpage on alleviating the effects of Stress and Trauma .

 

EFT Alleviates Phobia of Dying

Many of us, at some point in our lives, start obsessing about dying. Or, as children, we worry constantly about our parents dying. It seems to come in waves, we go through phases with this death anxiety.

I had a client recently who had a serious condition that would put him in danger of sudden death, and unable to breathe. Even after the illness was healed, he continued to fear sudden death, to the extent of having panic attacks. He had several surgeries

Panic Attacks Wake Him up While Sleeping

He mentioned that, often he would be sleeping calmly and suddenly wake up dizzy, the room spinning around him, gasping for fear of not being able to breathe, even though in reality his breathing was fine.

EFT Tapping on Panic Upon Waking

I decided to start by working on this panic upon waking by having him describe a recent event. As usually happens, the physical symptoms and fear started up right then. We used EFT Tapping on the feeling of dizziness, floatiness, feeling of tightness in his chest that was happening right then. He also noticed that he was having trouble focusing his eyes. Very quickly, the dizziness and floatiness abated and he was able to focus his eyes. His chest was still tight, however.

Chest Tightness Connected to Panic

Using EFT, we worked with the super-alert panic of the fear that he wouldn’t be able to breathe. This eased the tightness in his chest. He realized he wasn’t scared anymore.

Room Spinning is a Sign of Trauma

Next I had him describe how the room spins when he wakes up suddenly. The room started to spin a bit right then.  We did EFT Tapping on that, and the spinning stopped. He felt calm about that, too.

EFT Heals Fear of Death

I had thought we might need more sessions to deal with the aftermath of the surgeries around his condition, but it turned out that his severe fear of death was alleviated after just this one session. After not hearing from him for some time, I called to follow up. He had not been thinking about panic. In fact, he had gotten caught up in all the activities of his life and felt he was just too busy to set up another session. Before this, he never went through a day without several times of panic.

EFT is Effective with Phobias of All Kinds

Although this was quite an amazing turn-around—phobias are not always alleviated after just one session—phobias ARE very often successfully healed using EFT. See my other blog post on EFT with a storm phobia. Also, check out my webpages on EFT and EFT Case Studies for some of the other issues EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can help with.

Wishing you a free and joyous life,

Zoë

EFT Cured a Storm Phobia

Accepted “Wisdom” is that Phobias are Difficult to Alleviate

In the “psychology world,” it’s often said that phobias are really difficult to change. Usually, phobias are really entrenched. For people with this kind of anxiety, when they’re faced with what they’re afraid of—spiders, heights, small spaces, flying, test taking, and any number of other anxieties—they often feel they’re going to die. For the rest of us who aren’t afraid of these things, it seems like no big deal, so it’s hard to understand why someone would be so terrified. But for the person who has the phobia, it just IS and it can’t be argued away.

For a description of how phobias work in us, affecting our nervous system and causing emotional pain, see my article on Examiner.com, Phobias Often Disappear after Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

EFT is Effective With Phobias

Interestingly, I’ve found that, using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), a phobia can disappear with relatively few sessions. A while ago, I had a client who had a phobia, huge anxiety around thunderstorms. It would start when she saw the black clouds massing. She’d have a horrendous feeling of dread. Then, when she saw lightning or heard thunder, panic overcame her and she would run to a room in the middle of wherever she lived—this was often a bathroom with or middle room with no windows—and cower there until the storm was over. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get over the fear. It had been going on for over 20 years.

EFT Tapping on the Storm Phobia: Dread

I started by asking my client detailed questions about her specific reactions to specific parts of storms to get at the different aspects of the phobia, and the incidents in her life and/or childhood family patterns that were the origins of what caused anxiety. We used EFT Tapping on these specific incidents and dissolved the connections between the incidents and negative childhood family dynamics. The dread that accompanied seeing dark clouds massing was completely gone after only a couple of sessions. This was connected to two areas:

  1. Childhood abuse that happened again and again and the tension and dread that would build up waiting for the abuse to happen.
  2. Her husband was in the armed forces fighting a war. Whenever she heard the door bell ring, there was dread that it was officers coming to tell her her husband had died.

EFT Tapping on the Phobia: Healing the Terror of Lightning

The panic that sent my client hiding in a central, windowless room whenever she saw lightning and hear a boom of thunder was more difficult to alleviate. But, using EFT, the emotional pain was finally gone completely. This was related to:

  1. A shocking assault on her as an adult; the feeling of helplessness
  2. The violence and forcefulness of recurring physical abuse during childhood
  3. The suddenness of being attacked by her parent.
  4. The feeling of helplessness when she was being attacked by her parent.

After having worked on all these aspects surrounding the panic, one day, she was in her kitchen looking out the window when she saw a flash of lightning. She noticed later that it didn’t even register. A few days later, she was outside when suddenly heard a thunder clap. She calmly finished what she was doing in the garden before going in the house. This was huge!

EFT for the Feeling of Not Having Control

The final thing that we were left with was that, even though she realized she wasn’t afraid anymore those two times, she didn’t trust that she would always feel that way if a storm would come. She felt she needed to test it. She said “part of me wants a really close lightning and thunderstorm so I can be sure. It turned out that, unconsciously, she wanted a feeling of control. She wanted to be able to bring it on to see how she would react. This related, again, to her parent’s sudden attacks. Just like many abused children and adults, she learned that she couldn’t control the fact of the physical abuse, but she could, to some extent, bring on the attacks to get the fear and tension over with. With thunder and lightning storms, she had no control—she couldn’t bring them on to get them over with. At this point, the season for thunderstorms was over. There was no way to test it. We did some EFT Tapping for inability to control the timing of thunderstorms . Through this, she suddenly accepted she has no control.

EFT Healed the Phobia Around Thunderstorms

Some months later she wrote that one day she was having dinner, a giant bolt of lightning “lit the whole world in front of me. It was so close that the thunder clap followed before I could even think one-mississippi.” She stayed calm and continued eating. “Maybe the whole show was just for me,” she wrote, “so I wouldn’t have to wait until next spring to see if the EFT worked. Which-ever, work it seems to have done!”

Getting that note really touched me and gave me a feeling of gratitude. EFT works with phobias and many other issues. If you need help, give contact me at zoeric@comcast.net or call me at 303-444-1195. Check out my website for more information, especially my pages on EFT and EFT Case Studies.

Wishing you a free and joyous life!

Zoë