EFT Helps With PTSD, Part 2

Self-Destructive and Impulsive Behavior

 

Abusive Families Create PTSD Symptoms

In abusive families, children often suffer physical abuse or sexual abuse or their parents criticize them severely or play painful mind-games. A child might see or hear something that’s wrong and try to say something about it, but her parents might tell her that it’s not really happening or that she’s crazy. If she tells her parents she doesn’t want them to do what they’re doing or that it hurts her feelings if they say cruel things to her, they ridicule her, put her down or tell her they’re not doing whatever they’re doing. This is psychological abuse. Abuse often results in PTSD symptoms. (See my blog entry, EFT Helps With PTSD, for a definition of PTSD and some introductory background).

Children Suffering From Childhood Abuse Are Powerless

When children are abused, they often have no recourse—no one is there to help them. They’re trapped, and they don’t know a way out. As young children, parents are like mirrors for us, showing us who we are by the way they act toward us. If they are constantly criticizing or hurting us, the mirror is showing us that we’re ugly or wrong or stupid. And because we have no other input, we automatically believe it.

Childhood Abuse Creates Self-Destructive and Impulsive Behavior

Having a mirror that says we’re ugly and wrong creates a split in us. On the one hand, we believe it and start to beat upon ourselves just like they do; we hurt ourselves. On the other hand, there’s a healthy core in us that’s really angry about being treated so badly. Unfortunately, children have few relationship tools; often their way of expressing this anger is to act out impulsively or aggressively. This gets them in trouble in the larger world, which usually doesn’t understand the root of their behavior.

Negative Self-Image, Self-Destructive and Impulsive Behavior Continues into Adulthood

Whatever is mirrored to us as young children stays with us into adulthood. This is because we learned from this mirror before we ever knew we were learning anything. It unconsciously becomes our worldview and our self-view. And the way we learn to react to it to survive emotionally becomes an automatic habit that continues on into adulthood. But I’ve seen that we can change all of this.

EFT Helps With PTSD Symptoms of Childhood Abuse

EFT is amazingly effective with the PTSD symptoms caused by childhood abuse and other causes of PTSD and healing pain, both physical and emotional pain. For more details, see my website EFT-Emotionalfreedom.com.

Wishing you a free and joyous life,

Zoë

Deep Self-Acceptance makes EFT so Effective

Deep Self-Acceptance with EFT

In Process Work (created by Arnold Mindell, Ph.D.), there’s a great concept called “Deep Democracy.” I love this idea! As we all know, democracy means allowing all voices to be heard. Looked at globally, Deep Democracy means we become aware of and welcome the views of all nations, even those that have little power. Nationally, it means that we become aware of and embrace the views of all our groups of people, even those who are in the minority. In our families and businesses, we listen to those who are lowest in rank (the “little guys” and—in families—the children) and seriously take their wants, needs and opinions into account when making decisions that affect them. And inside of us, it means that we become aware of and truly embrace all parts of ourselves—even those parts that we’ve been ashamed of or have been told aren’t right or good—and we’ve believed that.

 Benefits of Deep Democracy & Emotional Freedom

The benefit of living in a Deep Democracy way is that the little countries, minorities, and less powerful in families thrive too. The other benefit is that, with the “lesser” countries and people thriving, the more powerful thrive even more, and in more ways. And inside ourselves, when we become aware of and welcome in parts that we’ve rejected, we become freer and happier. Think about it!

 Deep Self-Acceptance=EFT’s Effectiveness

In EFT terms, we “deeply and completely accept” a part of us we’ve seen as troublesome, disturbing or “bad.” I believe that’s what makes EFT so amazingly effective. For example, usually when we have a physical pain, we want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. But if the pain is not only a pain but also there for something (see my blog post, Getting to the Root of Physical Pain with EFT), just trying to get rid of it could make the “something” pop up in another form. Often, incorporating the message behind it into our lives gives space for the pain to go.

EFT–Emotional Pain Builds Up in Your Body

Emotional pain is similar. If you’ve had painful, scary or traumatic experiences in your life and you try to push them into the background, they don’t go away; they’re just buried and affect your work, your relationships, and your ability to deal with new difficulties with creativity and flexibility. The effects of these experiences build up in your nervous system and affect your body and your emotional health.

Embracing Deep Self-Acceptance with EFT

When in EFT we say “Even though I have this shoulder pain” or “even though I’m full of rage (sadness, fear, grief), I deeply and completely accept myself,” we’re practicing Deep Democracy inside of us. We’re putting our arms around the part of us that’s been hurt and loving ourselves with that part. Anyone who has the experience of someone listening to and taking their pain seriously feels better and is then ready for further healing. That’s true inside of us, too.

For more on my work helping to create emotional freedom with EFT, see my website pages on EFT and EFT Case Studies.

Wishing you a free and joyous life,

Zoë