Deep Self-Acceptance with EFT

In Process Work (created by Arnold Mindell, Ph.D.), there’s a great concept called “Deep Democracy.” I love this idea! As we all know, democracy means allowing all voices to be heard. Looked at globally, Deep Democracy means we become aware of and welcome the views of all nations, even those that have little power.

Nationally, it means that we become aware of and embrace the views of all our groups of people, even those who are in the minority. In our families and businesses, we listen to those who are lowest in rank (the “little guys” and—in families—the children) and seriously take their wants, needs and opinions into account when making decisions that affect them.

And inside of us, it means that we become aware of and truly embrace all parts of ourselves—even those parts that we’ve been ashamed of or have been told aren’t right or good—and we’ve believed that.

Benefits of Deep Democracy

The benefit of living in a Deep Democracy way is that the little countries, minorities, and less powerful in families thrive too. The other benefit is that, with the “lesser” countries and people thriving, the more powerful thrive even more, and in more ways. And inside ourselves, when we become aware of and welcome in parts that we’ve rejected, we become freer and happier. Think about it!

EFT’s Effectiveness is “Deep Acceptance.”

In EFT terms, we “deeply and completely accept” a part of us we’ve seen as troublesome, disturbing or “bad.” I believe that’s what makes EFT so amazingly effective. For example, usually when we have a physical pain, we want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. But if the pain is not only a pain but also there for something (see my blog post, Getting to the Root of Physical Pain with EFT), just trying to get rid of it could make the “something” pop up in another form. Often, incorporating the message behind it into our lives gives space for the pain to go.

Emotional Pain Builds Up in Your Nervous System

Emotional pain is similar. If you’ve had painful, scary or traumatic experiences in your life and you try to push them into the background, they don’t go away; they’re just buried and affect your work, your relationships, and your ability to deal with new difficulties with creativity and flexibility. The effects of these experiences build up in your nervous system and affect your body and your emotional health.

EFT Healing

When in EFT we say “Even though I have this shoulder pain” or “even though I’m full of rage (sadness, fear, grief), I deeply and completely accept myself,” we’re practicing Deep Democracy inside of us. We’re putting our arms around the part of us that’s been hurt and loving ourselves with that part. Anyone who has the experience of someone listening to and taking their pain seriously feels better and is then ready for further healing. That’s true inside of us, too.



Contact Zoe Zimmermann, MA, LPC, Certified EFT Practitioner

Office Address: 75 Manhattan Dr., Suite 206, Boulder, CO 80303

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Ask Zoe: Can I make a mistake with EFT?

Jeanie recently wrote, “Can you make mistakes with EFT? I’m reluctant to use it because I’m afraid I might make things worse.”

It’s hard to make a mistake with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)—it’s a very “forgiving” modality. If you’re too general, something in you unconsciously picks up useful things to work on to ease emotional pain or physical pain anyway, and you’ll be helped a little bit anyway. Of course, it’s better to be as specific as you can (see my previous post on how to make EFT effective: Ask Zoe: How to Get to Core Issues)—you get bigger and faster results. Some people worry that if they don’t say the “correct” phrases to focus on a topic, it will be hurtful, but you don’t need to worry about that. Basically, for most things, the worst that can happen is that not much will change.

The only kind of thing you need to be careful with when working with other people, is not to go into traumatic subjects that you’re not prepared to deal with—such as sexual abuse and physical abuse, addictions, very traumatic events, and other really serious issues. In these cases, things might arise that you wouldn’t be able to deal with. If you yourself have had such emotional trauma or severe emotional pain, it would probably be better to work with someone experienced.

Ask Zoe: I think I have Psychological Reversal. How do I get over it?

Actually, Psychological Reversal is not something you “have,” or rather, most of us have it either all the time, most of the time or some of the time. One problem that occurs frequently with most healing methods–be it medical, alternative, body therapies, or psychotherapy–is that people try these methods for a long time and nothing much changes. This is because, for many of us, we definitely want to and intend to get better and heal, but there is also a part of us that is somehow against healing emotional pain or physical pain, or is afraid to get better for some reason. For example, we may feel we don’t deserve to feel good, or our parents told us we were not good enough in various ways and we’ve internalized that, or–in the case of chronic illnesses or addictions, for example–we would have to make major changes in our lives if we heal.

These are all unconscious resistances, not conscious. They don’t mean we’re weak or have a character flaw. They are basically the result of being alive on the planet, where we receive all kinds of criticisms and negative actions coming our way, and we develop negative beliefs about ourselves because of them. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) has a built-in way to deal with these psychological reversals.

Think of a TV set

When it’s functioning normally, a TV has electricity flowing through it. If you take a screwdriver and touch parts of the insides, however, it will short circuit and the best you’ll get is static. This will continue until you take the screwdriver out. We can make a parallel with our own body’s energy system. Sometimes something happens to ”short-circuit” it; the result is some kind of “negative” emotion–fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, even panic attacks, for example. The factor that short-circuits us could be a traumatic event or something else that we may not even remember. The result can be emotional or physical.

Getting Your Inner and Outer Self “On the Same Page” Often Means Healing Emotional Pain More Quickly

If we tune in to the event, the emotion, or the physical pain, using EFT, we can correct the short-circuit, and attain emotional freedom. Often, the issue will clear up quite quickly. Other times, it takes some persistence to alleviate the issue. For more information, see my EFT and EFT Case Studies pages or contact me . For more on Psychological Reversal, check out my video, EFT-Why It’s So Effective

EFT: Why It’s So Effective