Getting to the Core of an Issue of Emotional Pain with EFT Therapy
I’ve found that one of the most important things to do when we’re using EFT–Emotional Freedom Techniques– to work on an issue is to know how to get to the core of the issue.
EFT Core Issues–The Thread
One way I think of it is to imagine holding one end of a thread. That’s where you’re starting with whatever you want to work on. Now you want to slide your hand all the way to where the thread starts—that’s the core.
EFT Core Issues–The Root
Another way I think of it is to imagine a thistle with those prickly leaves. If you just pull on it, you’ll get a bit of the root, but a lot of it is still in the ground, and will quickly grow its prickly leaves again. To eradicate the thistle, you have to dig way down to the very end of the long root and completely dig it out.
Getting to the Core Issue With EFT Creates Emotional Healing
There are actually a number of ways to identify core issues with EFT—using your creativity is really useful. I’ll just give you one example here below:
If a client and I are starting with a relationship problem where she might be reacting with a lot of charge whenever her daughter does the normal teenage thing of coming up with arguments when my client says “no” to something her daughter wants to do. My client acts out emotional trauma and gets really angry, feeling that her daughter is trying to force her to go along with something that feels wrong to her. Although she doesn’t want her daughter to do whatever it is, she gives in and then feels violated.
From the outside, it’s evident that there’s more going on here than the events at hand. You can tell because of the intense emotional pain that arises in my client—it feels bigger than the current situation warrants. You can also tell if, when you start working on the current issue between a mother and her daughter, her intensity goes down somewhat, but you get stuck and it doesn’t go down all the way. We can then guess that the origins of the problem are somewhere in the past—either with a previous relationship or in a painful childhood event, childhood trauma, or a pattern of events that cause emotional pain.
EFT–Core Issue Indicators
By feeling into what’s happening currently, we can guess the qualities of the previous relationship that is at the root of the current problem:
- Something feels wrong to her
- Something may have hurt her
- She wasn’t able to stop it
- She felt forced to do something she didn’t want to do, that felt wrong to her and hurt her
- She was made to do it anyway
- She felt violated
Now we can use these guesses to ask her when she has felt something like this in the past. She may come up with any number of things, from something that might seem small as an adult looking at it from the outside, all the way to a very abusive situation such as childhood trauma that resulted in long-term emotional pain or physical pain. A “small seeming” possibility is her mother always making her take castor oil when she was a child. A “big” thing might be sexual abuse, being locked in a closet, or other experiences that caused traumatic stress.
EFT Gets to the Core for Emotional Healing
Once you find out the event or pattern of events that feel similar to the current event(s), you’ve arrived at the other end of the thread. Now, to mix metaphors, you can dig at the root until you get way down to the bottom of the root—EFT tapping on the specific events and emotional pain.
Of course, it’s always important to be very careful when dealing with very painful or traumatic events. Usually, you can’t just dive in and have the person (or yourself) go into the details of these kinds of events, because you could end up re-traumatizing the person (or yourself).
Wishing you a free and joyous life,